During these 4 years in uni, there were so many times which I was being judged by others and so many times which I used to judge people.
I was always claimed by others, especially by my so-called “close friends” among my coursemates as a “cold-blooded” and selfish person. Their definition of “cold-blooded” and selfish are not feeling sympathetic when some other coursemates overspent their loan and almost not having enough to eat, when I release non-chalant air over others’ personal affairs/businesses/problems, and when I don’t give a damn after someone always/try soooooooo hard to seek for my advise but not willing to accept it and keep bothering me with their problems. My close friends wouldn’t think me as this way/as the way my coursemates had claimed me to be. I always think that minding my own business is more than enough. I always mind my own business so that others won’t take me as a busybody person. I couldn’t believe that leading my life this way would give others the idea that I’m a “cold-blooded” person.
I always say “Whatever” or “As long as you are happy” when I don’t really wanna care about others’ businesses/affairs. The mouths are theirs, they could talk whatever they want. The brains are theirs, they could think what they want. The bodies are theirs, they could do what they want. The life are theirs, they could decide to do what they want. Who am I to care so much/stop someone from doing what please them greatly? I couldn’t believe that saying “Whatever” and “As long as you are happy” would lead others to think that I’m nothing but a very very rude girl. I think it’s perfectly fine to say these.
Some claimed that I don’t give a person a second chance when he/she did something wrong. I always give someone a second chance provided that he/she really repents. Why should I waste time/waste my energy to even believe that a person would change when he/she never even once think himself/herself did wrongly in the first place??
Some also claimed that I’m a calculative person. Yeah, I count every 5 cents, every 1 buck you owe me. Am I really that kind of person? Please think again since when I did that. Being one of the many people who has car among my coursemates, I’m sometimes the driver when a group of friends go out. Have I ever demanded my petrol money from you? Have I ever demanded you to pay the parking ticket? Have you ever shown any of your sky-high appreciation to the lowly efforts of the drivers(not only me, also those who always drive)? People always take those who drive for granted, as if those who have cars memang have to drive and this is their destiny. Whatever, think what you guys like.
Here, I would like to thank all my friends who have helped me when my car got stolen last year. Thanks to Tian Yuh who called me and consoled me on the phone for almost 2 hours (I wonder how much she had to pay for the phone bills), Meng Her who somehow helped me to curse the thief, Yu Li who consoled me on MSN. Also many thanks to Ing Hua, Sheng wa, Keng Sern, Stacey, Hui San, Tee Hui and Kit How whom gave me a ride to fac and home. I really appreciate their help. I’m not that kind of person who forgets those have ever lend me a pair of helping hands when I’m in need. I didn’t have any intentions to neglect my friends who had helped me but somehow got drifted away by some unimportant matters/stuffs when I got my car. My fault for giving some people that kind of thoughts. Literally said, what used to seem important to me aren’t that important to me at all, at this stage of life.
I guess I evolved again. This time, a clean-cut evolution. Yeah, I’m still being denial once in a while, a good way to console myself when I encounter some unexpected and unwanted obstacles. But I’m not gonna let those unimportant and unreal opinions/stuffs to bug me anymore. It’s time to take a big pace and leave my old life behind again 🙂